❤ 我真的好累了, 我的痛苦谁能了解?

After knowing that I'm pregnant, have to check the date for ROM, for wedding dinner.
But, will be having wedding dinner first, as the ROM date for April is fully book, so have to wait till May.
My wedding dinner will be quite different from other people, because most people had their wedding dinner at a restaurant, but then we'll be having a wedding buffet dinner instead, because of money concern, but I feel it alright & I'm okay with it.

18th March'10, went Tanjong Pagar, Sattine Bridal with Mommy, Ahprepre, Aunty Eunice & ❤ Baby.
The person in charge, tell us about a package which cost us $3399, & seriously speaking I quite like the package, because they actually free me a photographer for my wedding day & others which I can't remember.
Once Mommy & Aunty Eunice heard the package & they ask me to ask ❤ Baby to call his mommy to ask her about it, but then she's working & they're like rushing her for the answer on whether to take it anot, actually I feel that ❤ Baby feel stress about it, as they're like keep forcing him to call & text his mommy for the answer, & that nearly cause me & ❤ Baby to quarrel, as he's not feeling well & he's feeling rather cold.
So, they told the person in charge that we'll go back the next day to settle everything & so Ahprepre drive us to Holland for dinner.
After eating, Ahprepre send us back to our house area as we're having temple dinner, but Mommy went over to the dinner place first, as I went back home with ❤ Baby to collect his wallet & I took him to see a doctor.
While walking to the clinic, ❤ Baby's mommy called & we ask her about her option & actually she feels that the package is quite expensive, so we asked her to fork out $2000 & Aunty they all will pay the rest, but she say let her consider as she's scare that she don't have enough money for the wedding buffet dinner.
Then, Mommy told Babysister about the package stuffs & I know that she's worry about the money too, as she can feels that I actually likes the package alot.
So, Babysister went to ask Daddy about it, & Daddy is willing to fork out the balance just to let me be happy, I'm pleased & happy when I heard that.

The next day, Babysister came over to my place as she took urgent leave just because she wants to help me out for the wedding dinner stuffs & also Mommy asked her to do so.
We search thru the net for reasonable & not say too expensive places for my wedding buffet dinner, but then the outcome seems to be more expensive than I expected, so Babysister called Daddy up & he recommend Dragon Gate Restaurant, & we went to check & actually the pricing is quite cheap & reasonable.
After checking everything, we tried to ask ❤ Baby's mommy about whether is she able to fork out about $1500 for the package & whether she's okay if we switch the wedding buffet dinner back to wedding dinner, she agreed to fork out $1500 for the package & the balance, Mommy & Daddy will pay & so, we waited for Ahprepre to come & fetch us down to Tanjong Pagar to settle the package stuffs & ❤ Baby went home from Tanjong Pagar as he's not feeling well.
So, I asked him to ask his mommy about the dinner stuffs, but she don't want to be held in the restaurant, as she feel & say that her side of relatives & friends are not alot, so we'll stick to wedding buffet dinner, & I told Mommy about it & she actually agreed to it.
Finally, package stuffs is settled, just left with wedding buffet dinner, & everything will be done.

Seriously, marriage is not as easy as we think, it's actually quite hard & money is really a problem.
Sometimes, when things didn't turn out the way we want, it'll actually cause misunderstanding & it'll actually hurt each others.

Babysister said something to me when we're having dinner together with Mommy, & that actually hurts me alot & I actually cried when I was eating.
I know that I told Daddy that I'm going to look for him during Chinese New Year & I didn't appear actually, as it's was too late plus I don't have any transport to go down & also I'm not that rich to take cab down, & I say I want to go down is not because of angbao money, is a respect.
Yes, I did ask him whether I go there can bainian anot, is not because I want any angbao from them, not because I'm money face, is because I don't know whether I can/should take oranges go, or can I say Happy New Year to them, that's all, it's just so simple.
I really feel very hurt & sad when you told me that Daddy say I money face when I just want to go down to see them during Chinese New Year.

When I was on the phone with ❤ Baby talking about the wedding buffet stuffs, we actually quarrel & he actually scolded me & hang up my call.
Seriously, I feel hurt & I seriously is holding back my tears, as I don't want to let Mommy see me cry again.
After he hang my call, he texted me with lots of hurtful & nasty words which hurts me alot.
I know your mommy is having money problem & I actually did ask Mommy to cut down her friends, & don't ask her company people, but if she insist, I also can't do anything, plus she says she'll pay for her company people, so I also can't say or do anything right?
But, you just keep push all the blames to me, I really feel so heartpain & hurtful loh.
But I don't want this wedding to be a unhappy one.

Is it because of pregnant then will become so emotional?
I tend to be angry easily, I begin to attitude people nowadays, I'll be more emotional, I tend to cry easily, mood is being affected easily too.

我真的好累了, 被夹在中间好辛苦..
我已经要不行了..
结婚不是应该很开心的吗?
为什么我感觉不到呢?
为什么你不知到我真的很努力的在说服他们?
我的痛苦谁能了解?

P/S: 26th March'10, test wedding gown, trial makeup.
30th March'10, test wedding gown & ❤ Baby test his wedding suits.
31st March'10, indoor & outdoor photoshoot for wedding.